The Wharf; New York, NY

                                                                   Shown Actual size


Bowl: standard size bowl, clean 4/5


Area: I understand that space is at a premium in NYC but when the bathroom is so small that you feel like any sudden move is going to have you crash through the door is not good. It was moderately tidy butat this size you would pretty much have to try hard to not keep it clean.  1/5

Intangibles: Because it is so small there is no way you will have a pop in because if you did you would be pissing on each other 5/5

Final Verdict: If it were larger you could probably spend some quality time in this crapper but the feeling of claustrophobia hits quickly when you are standing to pee and your ass hits the door. So let's leave this as a In and Out kind of joint but on the higher side of the scale.

Chipotle, St. Marks location; New York, NY

In space no one can hear you fart

Location: Corridor off to the side of the eating area. Next to the elevator, why there is an elevator is a mystery for another time.

Bowl: Standard bowl, clean and about 60 feet from the urinal. 4/5

Area: It looks like it has seen very little use which is strange considering the effects those burritos can have on someone. No walls or doors for the toilet area but this is not an issue because this is a one person bathroom and YOU have the key for it. I think I might move in with all of the space it offers. 5/5

Intangibles: I like the red brick liek floors, the metal sink left a little to be desired but did I mention, this is a bathroom built for 1! 4/5

Final Verdict: For a place that serves huge burritos you would expect a nightmarish bathroom that would close your bowels forever but the people at this Chipotle are doing their customers right by keeping it clean and making it personal. Be sure to bring your paper as you gear up for burrito 2 at Chipotle.

Staten Island Ferry (JFK Boat); New York harbor

I believe the toilet from Trainspotting has met its match

Location: First floor on the JFK boat, men's room

Bowl: It is missing the seat! I mean the review is over at this point but I guess we can continue, if you dare. 0/5

Area: Umm, there is no door so no privacy, the tp holder is a chain, there is NO door but it is very airy which is nice. 0/5

Intangibles: The sinks are nasty but you wouldn't use the bathroom here anyway so why would you use the sink? There are also no cowboy hats but there is no seat on the stall so there is no place for one? Oh, and it stinks! 0/5

Final Verdict: Are you still reading this with any sort of suspense? Hold it, don't even think about it and try not to even walk past it for it may haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life.

Waldorf Astoria; New York, NY

Class means never using the toilet for a #2

This is part 1, next we will have the ladies room which I hear is amazing but have not seen the pictures yet.

Location: First floor lobby area, close to 50th street

Bowl: Clean and small but with paper everywhere. Apparently someone wanted a bunch of free cowboy hats from the big city. 3/5

Area: The toilet covers where a mess and it looks like many were put back in the box making them unusable because who knows what was in there before me putting them back in the box. The area was also kind of tight and huge gaping opening for anyone to check you out while you were doing your business, not exactly a welcoming feeling.  Everything was in beautiful marble though. 1/5

Intangibles: Now what we don't see here is that the sink area is absolutely magnificent. Possibly the most beautiful sink area I have seen in a public bathroom ever. The soap was soap and not watered down, everything was immaculately clean and marble everywhere. I think i am in love. 5/5

Final verdict:  I actually believe that they made the bathrooms this beautiful and an non functional just so you will book a room there to check out what the room bathrooms look like. Unfortunately I don't have answers for this and can only say that the men out there better hold it when they come to this bathroom. 

Rosie O'Gradys: 46th street Manhattan

So I guess what I am doing here is reviewing something that has already been reviewed?


Location: First floor, back of the restaurant by the kitchen.

Bowl: The fun part is, the toilet paper was not only covering the top of the seat but was also below it. Oh and this is what it looked like when I walked in! I was wondering why the guy who walked out of teh bathroom looked more ashamed than usual. As for what I think about it, well if this guy felt that the bowl was THIS disgusting how could I go against him? 0/5
Area: I like what they have done with the bathroom, the shelf by the sink is perfect for a beer and the mirror is lighted which is good because it is kind of dark. It's a large room, too small for raquetball but big enough to move a garbage can so you can play basketball while you are doing your business. However it has some dirty tiles and is dark so it will lose some points. 3/5

Intangibles: Has a deadbolt lock and a high powered hand dryer, I like a bathroom that cares for your privacy and for your hands to dry in less than 5 hours. 5/5

Final Verdict: It is a solid bathroom that suffers due to it's poor main attraction. This is strictly an Aerial Drop but if the toilet were in better shape this could be a highly abover average crapper.

McDonalds: East Village Manhattan

Some sights are not for the weak of stomach and some toilet bowls are not for the shy or small asses. So this is all wrong.

Location: In basement of McDonalds which is located on Broadway intersecting Waverly Place.

Bowl: Crooked and poorly installed but it is shockingly clean. The only real problem with the bowl is slight rusting of the pipes but that isn't too unexpected due to the fact that many drunk people have probably peed on them. 2/5


Area: Just look at the discoloration of the tiles, absolutely horrifyingly dirty . Added negative for being a door less stall which is just wrong since once you eat at Mickey D's it is only a matter of moments before you have to relieve yourself of it. Plus it is rather tight in there. 0/5

Intangibles: The picture above is of the sink area, you might as well wash your hands off by shoving it up your ass. Besides the dinginess of everything in the hole you also get the smell which consists of day old McDonald's burgers and a faint whiff of moth balls. Oh and the outer door does not lock which just about guarantees that you WILL have an audience during your BM. 0/5

Final Verdict: Look, there are some really great public bathrooms and I am not purposely going after the worst one's right at the start but I think we can all see from the pictures that this is a clear HOLD IT from a mile away.

Dakota Roadhouse: Downtown Manhattan

All tile, porcelain is nice and gleaming white, little area to do your business...so what is wrong here?

well first the little area is just that, as it is inside a 3 and a half foot wall with no door on it and...

No lock on the actual bathroom door! What a disaster.


Location: In back of bar located just behind a pool table so if anyone is playing pool they will know exactly what you are doing.

Bowl: Sparkling, I think this was because no one would feel too comfortable using it or maybe it was because the bar was dead. 5/5

Area: very clean but no privacy negates any goodwill that the cleanliness has provided. Why would a bar do this? 0/5

Intangibles: No lock on door, no privacy, sink located right next to the wall to destroy what dignity you did have left. 0/5

Final Verdict: I don't think you need my advice on this one as most people would be able to decide for themselves if they wanted to do the deuce here but if you have to ask, this is clearly a Hold It!