More on Shea Stadium

Before the game started last night I needed to relieve myself so that I wouldn't need to during it. So I walk into the bathroom expecting hell and nasty cramped old school urinals when I see the most amazing urinal.


Look at that beautiful piece of porcelain. Shining white and it is extra large and juts out more from the wall making it like a basket to not only keep all pee in the urinal but it also avoids unsightly splash back. I needed to do know more about this fascinating new urinal so I hit the Internet.

Jackpot! Apparently it is a waterless urinal, which means it is also good for the environment AND it keeps away odor. I hope to run into this type of urinal again in my travels, a pleasure to pee in.

Shea Stadium: Flushing, Queens

Looks like someone missed, with everything!

Location: Field level, behind home plate...by the good seats.

Bowl: Soiled with piss and some weird sort of orange baby puke type liquid. The weird part is, the seat is up so does that mean someone was drunk enough to try and shit without the seat being down? 0/5

Area: This is probably the brightest bathroom I have ever used in a stadium and besides the bowl being nasty this place is shockingly clean. Around the bowl there is some remnants of people who had pee'd in the past but that is only expected. The only main problem with the area is that there are sight lines in the door to make things uncomfortable. 3/5

Intangibles: No real pluses to this bathroom but you did get many screaming wahoo's in here that make your ass clench when you just want to get rid of that sausage and pepper sandwich you ate at the beginning of the game. 1/5

Final Verdict: The toilet in this particular stall is an Aerial Drop but if you found a clean one it may not be too bad. Still with the noise and sight lines plus the game going on you may just want to do a quick In and Out at Shea Stadium.

McDonalds: East Village Manhattan

Some sights are not for the weak of stomach and some toilet bowls are not for the shy or small asses. So this is all wrong.

Location: In basement of McDonalds which is located on Broadway intersecting Waverly Place.

Bowl: Crooked and poorly installed but it is shockingly clean. The only real problem with the bowl is slight rusting of the pipes but that isn't too unexpected due to the fact that many drunk people have probably peed on them. 2/5


Area: Just look at the discoloration of the tiles, absolutely horrifyingly dirty . Added negative for being a door less stall which is just wrong since once you eat at Mickey D's it is only a matter of moments before you have to relieve yourself of it. Plus it is rather tight in there. 0/5

Intangibles: The picture above is of the sink area, you might as well wash your hands off by shoving it up your ass. Besides the dinginess of everything in the hole you also get the smell which consists of day old McDonald's burgers and a faint whiff of moth balls. Oh and the outer door does not lock which just about guarantees that you WILL have an audience during your BM. 0/5

Final Verdict: Look, there are some really great public bathrooms and I am not purposely going after the worst one's right at the start but I think we can all see from the pictures that this is a clear HOLD IT from a mile away.

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Dakota Roadhouse: Downtown Manhattan

All tile, porcelain is nice and gleaming white, little area to do your business...so what is wrong here?

well first the little area is just that, as it is inside a 3 and a half foot wall with no door on it and...

No lock on the actual bathroom door! What a disaster.


Location: In back of bar located just behind a pool table so if anyone is playing pool they will know exactly what you are doing.

Bowl: Sparkling, I think this was because no one would feel too comfortable using it or maybe it was because the bar was dead. 5/5

Area: very clean but no privacy negates any goodwill that the cleanliness has provided. Why would a bar do this? 0/5

Intangibles: No lock on door, no privacy, sink located right next to the wall to destroy what dignity you did have left. 0/5

Final Verdict: I don't think you need my advice on this one as most people would be able to decide for themselves if they wanted to do the deuce here but if you have to ask, this is clearly a Hold It!

Brooklyn Brewery: Williamsburg, Brooklyn

One site of this and you have to wonder, what kind of desperate man would actually use a public bathroom at all?

Location: In back of Brewery behind the bar area.

Bowl: Piss covered...literally. If you look you can actually see the reservoir of urine at the back lip of the bowl. Thank god they don't technically serve food at the brewery. No back on the seat may actually be a blessing here. 0/5

Area: Nothing says inviting like stone floors. All in all unspectacular but it had no peak-a-boo cracks in the door which is a nice touch. 1/5

Intangibles: Smelled like piss, floors looked to be covered in piss and overall a blah experience. 1/5

Final Verdict: Really I don't have to look to deep here since THE TOILET IS COVERED IN PISS!!!! So here is a hint, don't fucking take a deuce here and just Hold it! Hell there has to be an alley close enough to get your business done.