Stella Marina Restaurant: Asbury Park, NJ

Why did I forget my Camera?

I apologize for a lack of pictures, I will try to not let that happen again.

Location: Second floor

Bowl: Covered in shit, literally. I went in to use the facilities only to see that someone had actually shit on the toilet bowl seat. 0/5

Area: Besides the shit covered seat it was a very clean bathroom. It was a bit cramped and you may have to brush asses with the person using the urinal which led to me being unable to do my business anywhere. Dimly lit as well. 3/5

Intangibles: Hostesses were hot but bitchy. For more on that see this.

Final verdict: It is hard to say anything besides Hold it considering the circumstances. If the toilet is cleaned I could give this an In and Out but we will have to wait for my next time there to see if that upgrade happens.

Bridget's Public House: Staten Island, New York

You can't use a new bowl in an old shit box.


Location: Across from bar, before steps

Bowl: Looks brand new. Look at that shitter it is gleaming. 5/5

Area: From the above picture you would think that it wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately some pictures lie, behold the horror...















and
















No paper towels,I think the bottle next to what appears to be a bug trap is soap, something that appears to be a bug trap, a urinal that would give you a shy bladder and just an overall feel of a campsite bathroom. I wouldn't go to the bathroom with your equipment in here. 0/5


Intangibles: So shitty you are forced to go home, thus ensuing you don't spend too much money or get too drunk. So it's got that going for it. 0/5

Final Verdict: For all it's solitary plus of actually having a clean bathroom, the fact that it is disgusting forces you and everyone else you know to HOLD IT on this one. Of course this rule doesn't count for me since I have used it numerous times and I never felt quite right after doing so.

O'Sheas: Las Vegas, Nevada

The drinks are cheap so that you don't see the floor sober.

Location: The back of the casino located by the Burger King. why yes I did say Burger King.

Bowl: Clean, with some nice and shiny porcelain. Really something I would not have expected coming from a casino with cheap tables, Beer Pong tables and a Burger King. 4/5

Area: Huge, I mean look at that picture, it is only half thesize of the stall. You could probably fit a cot in there with ease. The only problem is that the floor is dirty but that is to be expected by a dirt casino. 3/5

Intangibles: Kind of blah, just a standard bathroom. The brown walls are kind of drab.


Final Verdict: Clean bowl, huge space to relax in while doing your business and overall just a solid throne room. Dare I say it, O'Sheas will get a highly respectable Bring a paper, hell bring the New York Times, you will have plenty of room to read it in.

Luxor: Las Vegas, Nevada

What horror lurks in the shadows?

Location: By the exit of the More buffet in the lowest level of the casino.


Bowl: Ewww, what the hell is that? Is it fungus? Is it shit? Wait, is that fucking fungus? What the fuck is wrong with this place? 0/5

Area: Site lines are palpable, area isn't too cozy. Is it a fungus? 3/5

Intangibles: Just a blah bathroom put next to the buffet so that you don't shit your pants after stuffing your face. 0/5

Final Verdict: There is fucking fungus in the toilet and no this wasn't a single instance either as I saw it in every stall except for one...that one had a log of shit in it. For your future health please Hold it until you get either upstairs or to another casino, it is worth shitting your pants for.

Treasure Island: Las Vegas, Nevada

An Atlantic City bathroom at Las Vegas prices.

Location: Closest bathroom to second floor entrance.


Bowl: Some images can be misleading, take the first picture. It looks like a nice little toilet in which to rest your ass from the beating it has taken from gambling.

Some images are not misleading, like the picture above. This is the same toilet pictured above except now you can see how bad it is. What is that? Is that beer? Soda? Urine? Or is it something even more devious? 0/5

Area: The floor is sparkling, the site lines are minimal and the stall is a decent size. So it is pretty nice. 5/5















Intangibles: Above you will see the good and the bad when it comes to completing a bathroom. On the left we see the torso of a naked chick, no complaints there but unfortunately that disgusting pit on the right is their sink and who would want to wash their hands in that? Being as the sink is much more important than the art work, especially after you are done doing what you went into the stall to do, I am going to have to deduct some points. 1/5

Final Verdict: This bathroom would have been an easy bring a paper but instead the cleaning crew took the night off and left us with an Aerial drop. Of course if the picture was of something more than a torso my mind might have been changed.