Boston Inn: Westminster MD

Did someone piss on the lights?

Location: In our hotel room

Bowl: A clean standard bowl so nice to use but it was a low flow which may be great for the environment but is terrible for a McDonald's attack. I don't have all day to flush a toilet. 2/5

Area: You can't tell from the yellow pictures but the walls are a nice shade of shit brown so when you combine the shitty lighting and the pissy walls you really have a strong reminder of why you are sitting there. Besides that it was clean and the bowl wasn't too cramped so it wasn't too bad. 4/5


Intangibles: Nothing to add, just a standard blah bathroom.

Final Verdict: If you can get past the yellow glaze on everything, the shit brown walls and the 15 minutes of flush time you will see a pretty solid bathroom. Hell, Bring a Video Game, because this is the best part of the room.

Bob Evans: Westminster, Maryland

And when your days are darkest a light shall lead your way.

Location: Behind hostess station in front of restaurant.

Bowl: Standard bowl, small shit residue but nothing to distract you from doing your business. 4/5



Area: This is one of the rarest public bathrooms, for as you see above this one has a door that closes flush. What does that mean? PRIVACY! Sweet glorious privacy. 5/5

Intangibles: The smell in this bathroom had a pleasantly faint smell of lemon but the perfection that the stall seems to exude is ruined by a sink that can only be classified as a disaster (unfortunately I was unable to get a shot) 1/5

Final Verdict: If not for the sink troubles we would have public perfection but instead we get an almost perfect Bring a paper. Still after eating your weight in breakfast foods how could you have a problem with that?

Killmeyer's Old Bavaria Inn: Staten Island, NY

It was a dark and scary bathroom but thankfully there was no shit monster located on the bowl.

Location: just passed the door that leads to the Beer garden

Bowl: While no toilet will ever be clean enough to eat off of this one isn't too bad. The fact that a previous urinator failed to flush should not detract from the cleanliness of this porcelain throne. 5/5

Area: Sight lines will almost always be a problem in public bathrooms it is as if the owners of these establishments want you to feel self conscious as you shit and this bathroom is no different. The bathroom also looks like it is being lighted to save energy, it is just a very dark bathroom which makes you feel as if you are shitting in a dirty gas station bathroom. So you get the feeling that someone is watching you while you shit in a dirty toilet and then you add claustrophobia into the mix due to how small the stall is, simply put this is not the best situation for which you can reflect on your day as you sit upon the pearly throne. 0/5

Intangibles: Nothing extraordinary here, just a plain old toilet stall. 0/5

Final Verdict: maybe if they put higher wattage bulbs in the bathroom and centered the toilet so that your leg wouldn't rub against the wall I could enjoy this toilet more. Hell, if they just turned up the lights I wouldn't have cared if the stall was cramped or not but they don;t and it is so this is an In and Outer.