The Wharf; New York, NY

                                                                   Shown Actual size


Bowl: standard size bowl, clean 4/5


Area: I understand that space is at a premium in NYC but when the bathroom is so small that you feel like any sudden move is going to have you crash through the door is not good. It was moderately tidy butat this size you would pretty much have to try hard to not keep it clean.  1/5

Intangibles: Because it is so small there is no way you will have a pop in because if you did you would be pissing on each other 5/5

Final Verdict: If it were larger you could probably spend some quality time in this crapper but the feeling of claustrophobia hits quickly when you are standing to pee and your ass hits the door. So let's leave this as a In and Out kind of joint but on the higher side of the scale.

Killmeyer's Old Bavaria Inn: Staten Island, NY

It was a dark and scary bathroom but thankfully there was no shit monster located on the bowl.

Location: just passed the door that leads to the Beer garden

Bowl: While no toilet will ever be clean enough to eat off of this one isn't too bad. The fact that a previous urinator failed to flush should not detract from the cleanliness of this porcelain throne. 5/5

Area: Sight lines will almost always be a problem in public bathrooms it is as if the owners of these establishments want you to feel self conscious as you shit and this bathroom is no different. The bathroom also looks like it is being lighted to save energy, it is just a very dark bathroom which makes you feel as if you are shitting in a dirty gas station bathroom. So you get the feeling that someone is watching you while you shit in a dirty toilet and then you add claustrophobia into the mix due to how small the stall is, simply put this is not the best situation for which you can reflect on your day as you sit upon the pearly throne. 0/5

Intangibles: Nothing extraordinary here, just a plain old toilet stall. 0/5

Final Verdict: maybe if they put higher wattage bulbs in the bathroom and centered the toilet so that your leg wouldn't rub against the wall I could enjoy this toilet more. Hell, if they just turned up the lights I wouldn't have cared if the stall was cramped or not but they don;t and it is so this is an In and Outer.

My Bathroom

There she is, the throne in my bathroom. The question here is if she is worth your ass time? So let's take a look at what we have here.

Bowl: A little dirty and kind of small for the larger asses out there. Also it doesn't seem to have been installed properly and any shifting by the user from one ass cheek to the other will lead to the bowl slightly moving. If cleaned up I give it a solid 2 out of 5 rating.

Area: All you have to do is look at the orange walls to realize that I rent, not that there is anything wrong with that. The floor is also a little dirty and could use a bit of cleaning. No toilet paper at the time of this photo but that problem has been since resolved. Finally let's take a look at the elephant in this tiny room, you are squeezed into your area which does not lend kindly to a relaxing time doing your business. Even if cleaned and with the TP roll replenished its still a substandard and uncomfortable area to use, 1 out of 5.

Intangibles: The smell in this room is decent so you aren't chased out unless you do so by your own stink. The real thing that helps this bowl standout from the rest is the back of the bowl library, Sports Illustrated, Gourmet, Rachel ray, Fantasy Football Mags, Men's Health, Runners World and a god damn cook book make this section second to none. 5 out of 5


Final Verdict: Not exactly the greatest of shitters but it is easily an In and Outer and depending on how you feel about the reading material provider could be a Bring the Paper kind of bowl.